Hopeless
by janahjean
Summary: My bvs:doj take because ...ehh. CRACK.


This is pure crack

I don't own _. _ is the property of , and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

slight edition made*

Matls:

Starmobile playfive phone

Google doc

HOPELESS

BY: janahjeanb

"this won't work." Diana complained in between munchies as she and batman viewed the monitor under the batca-correction,justice league quarter.

"What do you mean?" Bruce asked after nanoseconds of figuring out what she mean. Like, did she mean them being a team? Partners?

Diana sigh. "Us. Becoming justice league. I mean look at us. Two doesn't make a team."

"Hn." Bruce thought scratching his chin. " i could offer alfred a spot in the team."

Alfred who was sewin peacefully a piece of kevlar seconds ago, drop the object with a cluk. "I beg your pardon master bruce." He said outrage.

"Or," bruce pretended not to hear alfred," we could resuscitate superman."

Diana's mouth twitched into a smile. The last time they tried it after robbing the grave of clark has led them to a dramatic replay of frankenstein scene. It didn't help matters that bruce got so carried away he was cackling evilly as he pulled the switch.

Hiding her smile behind her hand she point out that it's no longer thunderstorm season.

"And thank god for that" alfred said under his breAThe.

"I think the classic would work." Bruce said after awhile as he pour alfred a refill of scotch.

"Hmmm." Diana thought intrigued both at the idea and the bottle.

(S)

"Not again!" The gravedigger throw his arms in the air after spying two drunk superheroes were giggling between digging the body on the ground.

"Ohh you're gonna love this idea,man" batman was slurring his words intoxicated beyond his tolerance level as he address the ground.

Diana spit some soil and continue her digging. " this digging is fun." She said while scooping the soil with her bare hands almost like it's sand. She was somehow more drunk than bruce which should worry bruce.

"Have some more!" Batman said throwing the bat flask at diana.

"I will." Diana shouted.

(S)

It was easy to teleport the body back towards the base. What was not easy was being quite as the two sneak inside the cave without alfred suspecting a thing.

"Do you think alfred hear it?" Diana asked anxiously as they put the body in a slab.

Batman scoffed. "You stab a toe,diana." He said long suffering.

Diana stab her toe and cause the tumblr to move by centimeters. The screech that followed made diana giggle nervously and with batman trying to shush her But, schematics.

"Anddd alfred is old. He's probably deaf." Batman added conspiracy-like.

The two rolled over the floor laughing. Alfred glare at them- with them unaware.

"Ow." Batman wince, back to grumpiness when alfred calibrated his thinking with a knock on his skull. Diana got a break- only because she fling her hair and bit her lips seductively at alfred. Batman follow her modus but it got alfred puking instead followed by punching batman.

"Do you think it'll work?" diana asked bruce with all the puppy love showing in her eyes.

Batman nodded. "Of course." He sounded slightly miffed. He have done research after all.

"Here i'll read it again." He said as he grab a book.

"..and sleeping beauty lived happily ever after. The end." Batman said in a beautiful tone of voice as he close the book.

The two welcomed th meaningful silence that followed.

Diana snuggle closer at bruce at his bed. "I love happy ending." She confess breathlessly.

Bruce smacked diana's face with a pillow and run back towards the body. "Ill kiss him first see if i dont"

"Oh you're on,batman" diana shred the pillow into two before she flow and race against batman.

(S)

" five points for ...enthusiasm" alfred said drily as the two men gawked at diana who is slurping at clark's lips as if it's a straw.

As the most desirable eligible bachelor in the world, bruce can stand only seconds before he ripped his cowl off and pried diana off the body. "Diana that's not how you kiss, you poor thing." He said shaking diana on both shoulder.

"Huh?" Diana licked her lips slowly. " the dementors who taught me said otherwise." She throw bruce distrustful looks.

"Oh god." Alfred run away screaming

Bruce tip diana's chin up. His blue eyes a brilliant shade of winter. "Here, i'll show you how it's done, tomboy." He whisper as he lean towards his princess.

The princess was not impress. "Eww." She said as she gagged and spit and wipe her lips while making a funny face at batman.

Bruce seemed flustered. "He-here we'll try it again." He offered visibly upset at diana's reaction. Diana please he is a playboy billionaire.

After the fourth try… " not bad playboy." Bruce could actually sense diana's smile curling as he continue to touch diana's lips after another kiss.

"Diana!" Batman whined realizing diana had played him.

"How else do i get kisses from you bruce?!" Diana said exasperated. "You're now my boyfriend right?" She unsurely look at the floor.

Batman grab her hands. "Yes." He said warmly. "Now go kiss his lips, girlfriend." He said as he push diana back to Clark's side.

Diana tried again proving once and for all how a good pupil she was under batman's tutelage. "Your turn, boyfriend" she said shoulder sag when clark remain lifeless.

Bruce throw a victory sign when diana decided to take a pic of the upcoming event before he kiss clark as well.

"Hmm." Both raised an eyebrow at each other when still nothing happens.

Diana yawned. "Well, we tried. I'm bored now."

Bruce shrugged and lift the body towards the sofa. "Go to sleep, diana." He ordered gruffly as he accept the blanket diana give him and use it to tuck in clark.

"You'll keep him company then?" Diana asked.

Batman grunted a yes as he carefully made a place to sit down and turn on the tv with a remote.

He watched carefully and a smile flicker in his face when he saw a minute rise and fall of clark's chest. he turn his eyes on tv afterward.

(Justice and truth can only go so far without hope

Sometimes to keep going justice and truth have to even dig hope out of the grave.. )

"the gotham knights won?!!" clark was horrified to come back to the living with this sport news on tv. The basketball game against the metropolis saints must be rigged

Bruce smother clark's face with a pillow. "You take it back!" He growl.

-fin-

An/ have a family problem that made me lost my marbles and made this sht.


End file.
